Thursday, October 25, 2018

Audience of One Please! {Day 20:Audience}

An audience of one please!

I skipped public speaking in college because it terrified me! I was already battling anxiety and panic attacks, so there was no chance I was going to sign up for that class! I remember the days I had a presentation to do in front of a class, even a small one, I was unable to get out of my car without panicking. It got so bad, I had to drop out of college more than once. I would like to say it has gotten much better since then but it hasn't.

I dream about standing up in front of a crowd and giving my testimony of how far I have come, what I have overcome, what I have learned with God's help. I dream about teaching a Bible study class for a small audience of women, not online, but I just can't. 

My cell phone and social media have become the audience I can address, sometimes. Even then, my hands shake, my heart races, and I overthink every word.

An audience of One please!
The One that matters. The One that guides. The One that saves, shows mercy, and extends grace when I stumble over my words or make a mistake. In front of this audience I don't have to fear ridicule, shame, or being made to feel stupid.

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, And delivers them out of all their troubles.The Lord  is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.
 - Psalm 34:17-18 

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