Tuesday, January 1, 2019

A Glimpse Into My Journey

Blessed is the man who trusts in Adonai; Adonai will be his security. - Jeremiah 17:7 (CJB)

“Blessed  is the man who trusts in the Lord, And whose hope is the Lord . - Jeremiah 17:7 (NKJV)

My focus word is Trust. I have quite a bit of issues with trusting humans, myself, and even God at times. I tend to rush into the "I need to do this on my own, fix it on my own, and try to figure our every possible step before stepping out into anything." I struggle with severe anxiety, depression, and a few other issues which make trust even harder. However, I know God is faithful, I know as humans we will fail each other, and I know that I may at the things I set for myself (and that is all okay) - my trust needs to be placed first and foremost on the One who is Trustworthy, Faithful, Strong, Loves Unconditionally, and will NEVER leave me or forsake me. No matter what happens in life, no matter how I feel (emotionally, mentally, physically), no matter my circumstances (financial, material, or even who understands me or not) - God alone matters! His ways are perfect, His plan is perfect, His timing is perfect - all I have to to do is TRUST Him and surrender it all to Him. Easier said than done. But like my therapist has told me, "awareness is the first step." I am aware of my need to Trust God, Rely on God, and surrender to Him completely. Next step - begin the journey!

These photos are my next steps in my journey to Trust more fully. Journaling about trust, writing out scriptures on trust, prayers, and my thoughts I need to surrender to Him.

I ask that you all pray for me in this and I will be praying for you all as well.

💜🤓 Crissy 🤓💜

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Thankfulness: A Deeper Look

Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. 
- Psalm 100:4 

November has become the month of thankfulness. We see many people sharing what they are thankful for each day on social media. Not only does it make me smile but it also helps me to remember to count my blessings and live a life of gratitude.

Here are some definitions from google to gain some understanding of what it means to be thankful.

Thankful is defined as being pleased or relieved. Also, as expressing gratitude or relief.

Gratitude is defined as feeling or showing an appreciation of kindness.

Relieved is defined as no longer feeling distressed or anxious. 

I look back on the times I have listed the, "Today I am thankful for," things and wonder am I looking deep enough. There are all the obvious answers, God, life, salvation, spouses, family, fur babies, the Bible, etc. Those are wonderful and blessed things and we should be thankful for them. Sometimes we stay too long on the surface and regurgitate what we know others want to hear. What about being thankful for some deeper things? Maybe even some things that may not seems worth thanking God for. The hard times, trials, illness, etc.

So today, I want to look deeper and pull out some of those hard things to be thankful for.

I am thankful for:

The times my heart was broken, it taught me that not every person was the one who God had for me.

The panic attacks and anxiety, it has forced me to ask for help and learn more about myself.

The pain of fibromyalgia, arthritis, and other issues, it has forced me to slow down and learn how to take care of myself.

These things have also taught me to be more compassionate and empathetic.  It has taught me to be more understanding and not to jump to conclusions. Not all illnesses are visible.

Can you think of a "not so good" thing and find a way to be thankful for it?

For the Lord  is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations.
-Psalm 100:5 

Thursday, November 1, 2018

October Comes to a Close {Day 31: Close}

As October comes to a close
I wonder what did I accomplish.
I saw the leaves change colors
and some of them fall.
I notice the beauty in the rain
and gray clouds.

I lost two beloved pets
the heartbreak is intense.
They are like my children
not many understand.
Their love and personalities
all unique and amazing.

More self awareness
and tools to ground.
Learning to filter out the noise
and negative energy.
Recharging and reconnecting
with myself.

Flared days and brain fog
from bed to recliner.
Ice packs and heating pads
fuzzy socks and warm leggings.
Pillows for comfort
And fur baby snuggles.

Online book and Bible studies
Begin and end.
Lessons learned and
Friendships made.
Anticipation for the next one
Brings me hope.

Postcards and letters
Mailed out.
Brain dump journaling
And blogging.
Sharing my thoughts
In hopes that it encourages someone.

As October comes to a close
I know it may not be much
But I have accomplished
Some things.
This gives me motivation for
The opening of November.

We Have Been Given A Voice {Day 30: Voice}

Adonai, in the morning you will hear my voice;

in the morning I lay my needs before you
and wait expectantly. 
~Psalm 5:3

We have been given a voice 
To pray to God,
To share His truth,
To speak kindness.

We have been given a voice
To speak life,
To encourage,
To inspire.

We have been given a voice
To speak up for ourselves,
To share our hurts,
To share our dreams.

We have been given a voice
Don't hold back,
Don't shut down,
Don't shrink back.

We have been given a voice
Find yours,
Use it,
Stand strong.

We Are Better Together {Day 29: Together}

Just as iron sharpens iron,

    a person sharpens the character of his friend.
~Proverbs 27:17

Oh, How Sweet it is to have a friend.
One who is honest,
and will tell you when you are wrong.
With love and respect
helping each other grow.

Oh, How Sweet it is to have a friend.
One who is loving,
understanding and compassionate.
Who will listen
and hold space for you.

Oh, How Sweet it is to have a friend.
One who will pray,
share the scripture and encourage.
Who will study with you
and teach you to learn on your own.

Oh, How Sweet it is to have friend. 
One who to laugh with,
share you dreams and goals.
Who will inspire you
and push you to move forward.

Oh, How Sweet it is to have a friend.
One who loves God,
follows His commands and walks that path.
Who will hold you steady when you stumble
and pick you up when you fall.

Oh, How Sweet it is to have a friend.
One who knows you well
can tell when you are happy or hiding behind a fake smile.
Who will let you cry or sit in silence
with no judgment.

Oh, How Sweet it is to have a friend.
One who prays for your marriage,
believes in your bond.
Who advises in all truth
and reminds you of its sacredness.

Oh, How Sweet it is to have a friend.
One who is also your soulmate, 
and your lifetime love.
Who stands beside you 
as you both ride out life's storms.

Oh, How Sweet it is

 to have a friend.
One who makes calms you
and cheers you up when you are down.
Who reminds you to rest when pain is high
and brings you coffee with a smile.

Oh, How Sweet it is to have a friend.
One who loves you as you are
and tells you every day.
Who prays with and for you
and believes in you. 

Oh, How Sweet it is to have a friend.
Those that God knows you need
and need you.
Hold on to them
treat them as you want them to treat you.

 Two are better than one, in that their cooperative efforts yield this advantage: if one of them falls, the other will help his partner up — woe to him who is alone when he falls and has no one to help him up. Again, if two people sleep together, they keep each other warm; but how can one person be warm by himself?  Moreover, an attacker may defeat someone who is alone, but two can resist him; and a three-stranded cord is not easily broken.
- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Sing a Song {Day 28: Song}

Music has always been a big part of my life. when I was in 3rd or 4th grade I had this little white boom box with a strap. I would take it to school and walk around the playground jamming Bon Jovi or something like that. Every day after school I would go straight to my room put on a cassette and read a book or do homework. At night I would put my boom box on my bed with a stack of cassettes to listen to, so I could fall asleep.

I love all the old hymn book we sing out of during church service. There is something about those old songs sung accapella with a group of people. It puts me in the presence of God! Every summer that I went camping with my uncle, aunt, and cousin we would sing out of our devotional folders around the camp fire. It was such a perfect setting to sing praises to the Lord. 

I have so many favorite songs. So many that hold meaning for me and take me back to different moments in my life. Some happy and some sad. Some bring back memories of old friends, birthday parties, summer time in the country, school, late night phone calls with friends, sitting at the table writing letters, family gatherings, and cruising around town. 

Memories of music from elementary. I was a 80"s hair band, rock, metal girl. I love guitar! 
Never say goodbye, never say goodbye
You and me and my old friends
Hoping it would never end
Never say goodbye, never say goodbye
Holdin' on, we got to try
Holdin' on to never say goodbye

My favorite hymn: This always reminds me to pray and that I am never alone...He walks with me.
I come to the garden alone While the dew is still on the roses And the voice I hear, falling on my ear The Son of God discloses And He walks with me And He talks with me And He tells me I am His own And the joy we share as we tarry there None other has ever known

This song reminds me of riding around with my husband delivering the newspapers.
I got a pocket, Got a pocketful of sunshine I've got a love and I know that it's all mine Oh, oh, oh Do what you want, But you're never gonna break me, Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me Oh, oh, oh

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Made Whole In Love {Day 27: Whole}

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten  Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 
- John 3:16 

Made whole 
In His love.

No requirements 
Just acceptance.

He filled the void
Nothing else could.

Prayed for earthly love.
Almost gave up

Then a smile 
Laughter and holding hands.

Two become on. 
Made whole.

Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. 
- Ecclesiastes 4:12