A few days ago, I flipped open my Bible and it landed in Ecclesiastes chapter 3.
I am going to be very transparent here - I refuse to cry. As a child there was a moment when I decided that I wouldn't cry because that showed weakness and I needed to be strong. There were a few reasons for that decision in my almost 5 year old mind. Since that day I haven't cried much over the years. When close people to me passed I had my moment of tears and maybe a handful of times when I couldn't deal with the stresses of life. However, overall I have kept my tears locked up so deep inside myself that this scripture (in the photo) really convicted me.
I laugh, sometimes. I don't dance because I am embarrassed - even in my own home alone with my husband. I learned a behavior of "be strong and serious all the time." People will look at you funny or make fun of you if you laugh too loud, cry a few tears, or dance in joy. I believe I have been stuck in a state of mourning for a long time because I have not allowed myself to feel emotion or truly grieve the loss of many things - people, loss due to illness, and loss of myself to anxiety and depression.
I share this with you to remind you if you deal with something similar you are not alone and also to remomind you that there is a time for everything. God made us to have emotions. To dance with joy! To laugh and enjoy our lives.
Today I will choose to rejoice in all God has made and all that He has given me. Today I will choose to live and enjoy the life I have even with the loss of some things - I have gained others. Today I will choose to began the healing and allow myself to feel emotions. Will you join me?
Today seek out His joy, cleanse your soul with tears if you need to, dance in your kitchen, mourn loss as your rest in His presence.
What are some things that bring you laughter? Are you in a state of mourning? If so, how can I pray for you? Do you dance?
Hear my cry, God; listen to my prayer. - Psalm 61:2 (CJB)
It will burst into flower, will rejoice with joy and singing, will be given the glory of the L’vanon, the splendor of Karmel and the Sharon. They will see the glory of Adonai, the splendor of our God. - Isaiah 35:2 (CJB)
Then David danced and spun around with abandon before Adonai, wearing a linen ritual vest. - 2 Samuel 6:14 (CJB)