Why? Because I love it!

I have often asked myself,"why do you even bother writing at all?" I don't think anything I write is good enough to be read by anyone. Yet, here I am writing again.

As I think about my why, the one thing that keeps coming to mind is because I need to dump out all the stuff in my brain. It helps me deal with my anxious thoughts, negative thoughts, and helps me to remember all I am blessed with.

I write because I love it! I love writing little notes for my husband. Cards and letters to friends, family, and pen pals. Most of all I love writing prayers to God. Journaling with my mind focused on Him and His word is the most peaceful and amazing time of day!

Ultimately my why is - well, God gave me the desire and I need quite a bit of practice to get to where I want to be.

31 Days of Five Minutes Free Writes October 2019

Throughout the month of October I will be joining other bloggers in Five Minute Free Writes based of the prompts above. We will all link-up with Kate Motaung on her blog (link at the bottom of this page).

1. Why? Because I love it.

A Glimpse Into My Journey

Blessed is the man who trusts in Adonai; Adonai will be his security. - Jeremiah 17:7 (CJB)

“Blessed  is the man who trusts in the Lord, And whose hope is the Lord . - Jeremiah 17:7 (NKJV)

My focus word is Trust. I have quite a bit of issues with trusting humans, myself, and even God at times. I tend to rush into the "I need to do this on my own, fix it on my own, and try to figure our every possible step before stepping out into anything." I struggle with severe anxiety, depression, and a few other issues which make trust even harder. However, I know God is faithful, I know as humans we will fail each other, and I know that I may at the things I set for myself (and that is all okay) - my trust needs to be placed first and foremost on the One who is Trustworthy, Faithful, Strong, Loves Unconditionally, and will NEVER leave me or forsake me. No matter what happens in life, no matter how I feel (emotionally, mentally, physically), no matter my circumstances (financial, material, or even who understands me or not) - God alone matters! His ways are perfect, His plan is perfect, His timing is perfect - all I have to to do is TRUST Him and surrender it all to Him. Easier said than done. But like my therapist has told me, "awareness is the first step." I am aware of my need to Trust God, Rely on God, and surrender to Him completely. Next step - begin the journey!

These photos are my next steps in my journey to Trust more fully. Journaling about trust, writing out scriptures on trust, prayers, and my thoughts I need to surrender to Him.

I ask that you all pray for me in this and I will be praying for you all as well.

💜🤓 Crissy 🤓💜

Thankfulness: A Deeper Look

Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. 

- Psalm 100:4 

November has become the month of thankfulness. We see many people sharing what they are thankful for each day on social media. Not only does it make me smile but it also helps me to remember to count my blessings and live a life of gratitude.

Here are some definitions from google to gain some understanding of what it means to be thankful.

Thankful is defined as being pleased or relieved. Also, as expressing gratitude or relief.

Gratitude is defined as feeling or showing an appreciation of kindness.

Relieved is defined as no longer feeling distressed or anxious. 

I look back on the times I have listed the, "Today I am thankful for," things and wonder am I looking deep enough. There are all the obvious answers, God, life, salvation, spouses, family, fur babies, the Bible, etc. Those are wonderful and blessed things and we should be thankful for them. Sometimes we stay too long on the surface and regurgitate what we know others want to hear. What about being thankful for some deeper things? Maybe even some things that may not seems worth thanking God for. The hard times, trials, illness, etc.

So today, I want to look deeper and pull out some of those hard things to be thankful for.

I am thankful for:

The times my heart was broken, it taught me that not every person was the one who God had for me.

The panic attacks and anxiety, it has forced me to ask for help and learn more about myself.

The pain of fibromyalgia, arthritis, and other issues, it has forced me to slow down and learn how to take care of myself.

These things have also taught me to be more compassionate and empathetic.  It has taught me to be more understanding and not to jump to conclusions. Not all illnesses are visible.

Can you think of a "not so good" thing and find a way to be thankful for it?

For the Lord  is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations.

-Psalm 100:5 

October Comes to a Close {Day 31: Close}

As October comes to a close
I wonder what did I accomplish.
I saw the leaves change colors
and some of them fall.
I notice the beauty in the rain
and gray clouds.

I lost two beloved pets
the heartbreak is intense.
They are like my children
not many understand.
Their love and personalities
all unique and amazing.

More self awareness
and tools to ground.
Learning to filter out the noise
and negative energy.
Recharging and reconnecting
with myself.

Flared days and brain fog
from bed to recliner.
Ice packs and heating pads
fuzzy socks and warm leggings.
Pillows for comfort
And fur baby snuggles.

Online book and Bible studies
Begin and end.
Lessons learned and
Friendships made.
Anticipation for the next one
Brings me hope.

Postcards and letters
Mailed out.
Brain dump journaling
And blogging.
Sharing my thoughts
In hopes that it encourages someone.

As October comes to a close
I know it may not be much
But I have accomplished
Some things.
This gives me motivation for
The opening of November.

We Have Been Given A Voice {Day 30: Voice}

Adonai, in the morning you will hear my voice;

in the morning I lay my needs before you

and wait expectantly. 

~Psalm 5:3

We have been given a voice 

To pray to God,

To share His truth,

To speak kindness.

We have been given a voice

To speak life,

To encourage,

To inspire.

We have been given a voice

To speak up for ourselves,

To share our hurts,

To share our dreams.

We have been given a voice

Don't hold back,

Don't shut down,

Don't shrink back.

We have been given a voice

Find yours,

Use it,

Stand strong.

We Are Better Together {Day 29: Together}

Just as iron sharpens iron,

    a person sharpens the character of his friend.

~Proverbs 27:17

Oh, How Sweet it is to have a friend.

One who is honest,

and will tell you when you are wrong.

With love and respect

helping each other grow.

Oh, How Sweet it is to have a friend.

One who is loving,

understanding and compassionate.

Who will listen

and hold space for you.

Oh, How Sweet it is to have a friend.

One who will pray,

share the scripture and encourage.

Who will study with you

and teach you to learn on your own.

Oh, How Sweet it is to have friend. 

One who to laugh with,

share you dreams and goals.

Who will inspire you

and push you to move forward.

Oh, How Sweet it is to have a friend.

One who loves God,

follows His commands and walks that path.

Who will hold you steady when you stumble

and pick you up when you fall.

Oh, How Sweet it is to have a friend.

One who knows you well

can tell when you are happy or hiding behind a fake smile.

Who will let you cry or sit in silence

with no judgment.

Oh, How Sweet it is to have a friend.

One who prays for your marriage,

believes in your bond.

Who advises in all truth

and reminds you of its sacredness.

Oh, How Sweet it is to have a friend.

One who is also your soulmate, 

and your lifetime love.

Who stands beside you 

as you both ride out life's storms.

Oh, How Sweet it is

 to have a friend.

One who makes calms you

and cheers you up when you are down.

Who reminds you to rest when pain is high

and brings you coffee with a smile.

Oh, How Sweet it is to have a friend.

One who loves you as you are

and tells you every day.

Who prays with and for you

and believes in you. 

Oh, How Sweet it is to have a friend.

Those that God knows you need

and need you.

Hold on to them

treat them as you want them to treat you.

 Two are better than one, in that their cooperative efforts yield this advantage: if one of them falls, the other will help his partner up — woe to him who is alone when he falls and has no one to help him up. Again, if two people sleep together, they keep each other warm; but how can one person be warm by himself?  Moreover, an attacker may defeat someone who is alone, but two can resist him; and a three-stranded cord is not easily broken.

- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12