Made Whole In Love {Day 27: Whole}

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten  Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 

- John 3:16 

Incomplete

Made whole 

In His love.

No requirements 

Just acceptance.

Unconditional. 

He filled the void

Nothing else could.

Joyful.

Incomplete. 

Prayed for earthly love.

Almost gave up

Then a smile 

Laughter and holding hands.

Soulmate.

Marriage 

Two become on. 

Made whole.

Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. 

- Ecclesiastes 4:12 

Just a Moment {Day 26: Moment}

"...in the name of the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Spirit."
Immersed.
A new creation.
Best moment in life.

Fourteen years old,
Sure of this decision.
Ready to join.
Take up my cross
Become family.

In a moment
My life changed.
Renewed
Refreshed
Restored.

Acceptance
Of salvation so sweet.
Never turning back,
Never losing sight,
Focused on the One.

Time passes.
Moments of
Guilt
Shame
Sin.

Holding on
Even if by a thread.
Crying out
He hears,
He pulls me up.

Ups and downs.
Going off course.
Losing balance,
Blurred focus,
Alone.

Remember Gethsemane
Pray in the garden
He walks with me
I am never
Alone.

Moments of
Joy
Peace
Strength
Mercy
Grace.

Moments of
Loss
Grief
Darkness
Weakness
Chaos.

These and more
Make up a life.
The good
The bad
All lessons.

Moments of
Beauty
Rest
Laughter
True love.

Moments of
Counting years
Hoping for more.
Making memories.
Holding hands.

Moments that
Make a life
Worth
Living and
Loving.

Capture a Moment {Day 25: Capture}

Click.

Capture

A moment in time.

Photos

Flood our minds

With memories.

As we gaze into

Our young faces

Nostalgia hits.

Riding bikes,

Jumping rope,

Playing kick ball.

Learning how to do a cartwheel,

Hanging upside down,

Swinging on the monkey bars.

Camp fires,

Shooting stars,

Cow slime.

Dear diary,

Band posters,

Black painted walls.

Best friends,

Letters,

Sleep overs.

Crushes,

Phone calls,

Daydreams.

Heart break,

Drama,

Scaling the edge.

Eyeliner,

Purple lipstick,

Goth.

Darkness,

Numbness,

Silver blade.

Loss,

Grief,

Putting up walls.

Losing trust,

Holding on,

Then letting go.

Homework,

Mount Calvary,

Wondering why.

Growing up,

Graduation,

Fork in the road.

Good decisions,

Bad decisions,

U-turns.

Adulthood,

Work,

Making a way.

Soul mate,

Marriage,

Lifetime love.

Photos

Capture moments

In life.

Paw Prints on Our Hearts {Day 24:Brief}

Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted. 

- Matthew 5:4 

Your time with us was brief

But the impact you made will last a lifetime.

Fox and Trevor, 

We will love and miss you always.

Cute faces,

Sweet souls,

Loving hearts,

Wrapped in soft fur.

A gift from God,

To watch you run and play,

Cuddle with your dad and Samson,

To hold you close and hear you purr.

With broken hearts we mourn,

We pray for answers, 

Rely on God for comfort, 

Knowing you are running and playing

In that heavenly place.

Trevor, Fox, and their dad Neville.

A Common Love {Day 23: Common}

"A common love for each other

A common gift to the Saviour

A common bond holding us to the Lord

A common strength when we are weary

A common hope for tomorrow

A common joy in the truth of God's word"

~Charles F. Brown

A common love

In a time of hate.

A common love

In a time of selfishness.

A common love 

In a time of fear.

This is what we need.

A common gift

Of compassion. 

A common gift 

Of kindness.

A common gift 

Of mercy.

This is what we must give.

A common bond

In peace.

A common bond

In forgiveness. 

A common bond

In grace.

This is what we must have.

A common strength 

In encouragement.

A common strength 

In honesty.

A common strength 

In prayer.

This is how we serve.

A common hope

To hold onto.

A common hope

To believe in.

A common hope 

In miracles.

This is how we overcome.

A common joy

In laughter.

A common joy

In God's beauty.

A common joy

In friendship.

This is what helps us push through.

Help me, Lord! {Day 22: Help}

But You, O Lord, do not be far from Me; O My Strength, hasten to help Me!
- Psalm 22:19

Help me, Lord!
Keep me going
Keep me hopeful
Keep me focused.

Help me, Lord!
Show me the way
Show me how to overcome
Show me how to filter out the noise.

Help me, Lord!
Speak so I can hear
Speak so I can understand
Speak so I can heal.

Help me, Lord!
Be my strength
Be my fortress
Be my shield.

Help me, Lord!
Be my protector
Be my peace
Be my rest.

Help me, Lord!
Guide me on my journey
Hold my hand when I stumble
Pick me up when I fall.

Help me, Lord!
To be peaceful
To be kind
To be compassionate.

Help me, Lord!
To be understanding
To be forgiving
To be encouraging.

Help me, Lord!
To be gentle
To be mindful
To be loving

To me.

Help me, Lord!

My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.
- Psalm 121:2

Re-Start Believing {Day 21:Start}

We all want to believe in something.
We all want to believe we can do great things.
In the beginning maybe we do believe.
Then we forget.
Lose sight.
We stop believing.

Maybe it is time to
Re-start believing.
Recharge the batteries,
Reflect on the beauties,
Remember the miraculous

A pledge
A promise
To self.
Start believing
It will get better.
Start believing
Every day is a new beginning.
Start believing
In your abilities.
Start believing
You want to live.

Start speaking
Positive affirmations.
Start speaking
Life to your tired soul.
Start speaking
Love to your worn out heart.
Start speaking
Great things into existence.

Start trying
New things.
Start trying
To accept yourself.
Start trying
To understand yourself.
Start trying
To heal yourself .

In the believing,
In the speaking,
In the trying,
You start becoming.
You start growing.
You start seeing the wonderous beauty
That is living.

Audience of One Please! {Day 20:Audience}

An audience of one please!

I skipped public speaking in college because it terrified me! I was already battling anxiety and panic attacks, so there was no chance I was going to sign up for that class! I remember the days I had a presentation to do in front of a class, even a small one, I was unable to get out of my car without panicking. It got so bad, I had to drop out of college more than once. I would like to say it has gotten much better since then but it hasn't.

I dream about standing up in front of a crowd and giving my testimony of how far I have come, what I have overcome, what I have learned with God's help. I dream about teaching a Bible study class for a small audience of women, not online, but I just can't. 

My cell phone and social media have become the audience I can address, sometimes. Even then, my hands shake, my heart races, and I overthink every word.

An audience of One please!
The One that matters. The One that guides. The One that saves, shows mercy, and extends grace when I stumble over my words or make a mistake. In front of this audience I don't have to fear ridicule, shame, or being made to feel stupid.

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, And delivers them out of all their troubles.The Lord  is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

 - Psalm 34:17-18 

Who am I? {Day 19:Who}

Who am I?

The obvious,
I am Crissy.
A woman.
Daughter.
Sister.
Wife.
Aunt.
You get the idea.

I still struggle
To find the answer.
A Believer in God.
Reader,
Writer,
Photographer,
Friend,
Fur mom,
Pen pal.

All of these.
Is there more?
A day dreamer,
Anxious,
Panicky,
Depressed,
In chronic pain,
Fibromyalgia
Warrior.

A lover of
Rainy days,
Clouds,
Sunrises,
Sunsets,
The moon,
Stars,
Coffee,
Cheese.

Mysterious.
Just shy.
Talkative
If I trust.
Honest,
Afraid,
Caring,
Compassionate,
Empathetic.

Chaotic
Thoughts.
Lost,
Forgetful,
Lack of
Concentration,
Distracted,
Medicated,
Work in progress.

God says,
Fearfully and wonderfully made,
Loved,
Known,
Beautiful,
Masterpiece,
Strong in Him,
Given a purpose,
Saved.

Who am I?
A mixture
Of all these things
And more.
A failure,
An overcomer,
Not good enough,
Worthy,
Human on a journey.

Searching for the Best {Day 18:Search}

In search of the best.
The best life,
The best clothes,
The best shoes,
The best house,
Just the best.

The struggle is universal.
Everyone wants it.
Some will push,
Step on,
And hurt others,
For the best.

I searched.
I struggled.
I pushed.
Came close to stepping on,
Probably hurt someone,
For what looked like the best.

Exhaustion.
There is always something
Better,
Flashier,
Newer.
The best is
Unreachable.

Or is it?
My search changed,
Lead me to a place
I didn't have to struggle to reach.
It is filled with love and peace,
Grace and a Savior.

He is the Best!
The Answer,
The Way,
The Truth,
The Light in the dark,
The Giver of life.

Where will your search take you?

Learning the Pause {Day 17:Pause}

I kept looking for the pause button.
Just a short rest,
Time to recharge,
Reset,
Change perspective.

I filled my days with busy.
This was the way,
The world said so,
Keep pushing,
Don't stop.

The pause button is illusive.
In my sights,
My heart says,
Reach out,
Take a breath.

Distraction by the busy.
The pause
Forgotten,
Slipped by,
Kept pushing.

My body forced a pause.
Brief moments of
Lapsed time,
Drained,
Left wondering.

More force for the pause.
Mentally,
Physically,
Emotionally,
Exhausted.

I took the leap
Paused.
Then pushed.
Tried to fix.
Didn't allow the true pause.

There is a day,
Commanded
To pause.
Sabbath rest.
Sabbath peace.

I now take that pause
Seriously.
Work in progress,
Learning the pause,
Reset.

Just Pray {Day 16:Pray}

To pray is to hope,
To pray is to have faith,
To pray is to believe,
To pray is to communicate
with the One who knows.

Prayer is powerful.
Powerful enough to change our perspective,
Powerful enough to calm our fears,
Powerful enough to bridge the gap,
In Yeshua's Name.

Prayer helps me sleep,
Prayer helps me stay awake,
Prayer helps me endure the pain,
To hear, one day, "Well done."

Prayer brought me our of darkness,
Prayer brought me to true love,
Prayer brought me to forgiveness,
Nothing else would do.

To pray is peace,
To pray is strength,
To pray is grace,
It brings us to that sacred place.

To pray is honesty,
To pray is listening,
To pray is communication.
The ultimate love story.

When? {Day 15:When}

When?
When will I be okay?
When will I be able to accept those things I can't change?
When will I love myself fully?
When?

I would like to believe this will all happen soon.
I would like to believe that I can fix everything.
I would like to believe that when all that is done, I will love me.

The past and future collide,
The present is chaotic
With why's and what if's.
With when's and if only's.
With once this and that happen.
When will the smoke clear?

When will I be okay?
Okay with being me,
Okay with my struggles,
Okay with what I see in the mirror.
When?

Just Ask {Day 14:Ask}

For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. - Luke 11:10 

I asked for strength,

He gave it.

I asked to be saved, 

He saved me.

I asked to understand,

He gave me wisdom.

I asked for answers,

He spoke through His Word.

I asked for love,

He poured it down and filled me with it.

I asked for hope,

He shared what I needed to hold on to.

I asked for help,

He made a way.

I am still asking, 

He is still providing what I need.

Have you asked Him?

Talking To Cleanse The Soul {Day 13:Talk}

Stringing words together,
Forming sentences into
Long conversations
Lasting well into the night.
This is the type of talk I love.

Sharing our dreams, goals, beliefs
And what lies deep in our souls.
Sharing with one who truly understands
One who will not try to fix
Advise or roll their eyes.
Just listen
Just understand
Accept all of me
And share themselves .

A talk like that
Refreshes the heart
And clears the mind.
A talk like that
Opens new pathways
And helps us get a glimpse
If only for a moment
Into each others lives.

I have talks like this
In my mind
In my dreams
But not so much
Out loud.
Fear binds my tongue.

God hears
When my heart cries out
When my mind has jumbled thoughts
When my soul speaks.
Sometimes
That's enough.
Sometimes.

Praising In The Darkness {Day 12: Praise}

In the darkest of days I catch myself waking up singing a praise song in my head. It may be on I heard the day before or one I haven't heard in years. I am grateful for those mornings because it reminds me of where my focus needs to be. Especially when I am overwhelmed with life.

This is something I do only in the presence of my husband or alone - I break out in song at the most random times. When we used to work for the newspaper we would go out delivering together and when our radio didn't work I would sing bits and pieces of songs as they popped into my head. I think I drove my husband crazy! It helped me though. It helped to relieve stress, let out some feelings through song, and most times lift up some praise to God.

Music has been a huge part of my life. I was the kid, teen, young adult, 40 year old woman (now) with headphones on listening to the most eclectic mix of songs you can imagine. I used to make mixed tapes and cds based on what I was feeling. One cd I remember started with a hard rock song, then a Spanish pop song, then a Christian praise song, and on it went like that. Every moment the was something different. A different emotion ran through me as I listened and sang each word. The song didn't dictate my emotion, my emotion dictated what song I would listen to.

Recently, I have tried to add much more praise and worship music to that list. Much of that is based on where my focus is most days, on God. I know that no matter how dark the days get, He is worthy of all praise, honor, and glory.

Here is a song I have been singing in my head when I wake up. I hope you like it!

Shalom Aleichem

Doors Lead to a Great Many Places {Day 11: Door}

We walk through so many doors in life. Some lead to magnificent places and others lead to horrible ones. I have walked through doors that led to new jobs, meeting new people, and fun. I have walked through doors that have led to loss, hurt feelings, and panic. 

As a matter of fact I just found a story I begin writing in 2000 and it reminded me of a door I walked through accidentally and it was quite hilarious. I was 17 years old I believe and it was my first summer staying in the dorms of our local university as a part of the Upward Bound program for High School students. I met one of my best friend's there and it was her door I ran through instead of mine.

It was lights out and we all had to be in our own rooms. For some reason we were all daring each other to run through the hall and get back to the room before the counselors caught us. It was my turn. I went the the bathroom and then ran in my sock covered feet on the slippery hallway floor and could barley contain my laughter. Footsteps, panic, and I ran for what I thought was my door. Nope! It took me a few seconds to realize it. I even asked, "why are you in my room?" Then it dawned on me and the laughter erupted and I slipped back through the door and finally into my own room. These types of moments were rare for me. I was shy and afraid to draw attention to myself. Even now, writing this, my cheeks flush and I feel that embarrassment set it.

Now for a more serious door.  The door that lead me to salvation and a closer wall with God. I was very young when I sought this door out. Even then I was tired of this world. The loss and traumas of a childhood can do that to a girl. I heard so many times that this Creator loved me, wanted me to choose Him, and would give me a better life (I didn't understand then that the better life may come after this one). I heard the story if Jesus' sacrifice and why He had done it. How could I refuse to wall through that door!? 

It was the best decision I have ever made! Life has still been hard, traumatic at times, has had loss, grief, sadness but through it all I have hope is the One who made me and His promises. I have seen His hand at work in my life even in the darkest of times. 

There have been moments when I wanted to walk out of that door and leave all my faith behind. But I held on. Sometimes just with the edge of my fingers. It was enough though because that is when He reached out, grabbed my hand, and pulled me back up.

Will you walk through that door if you haven't already? If you have, how old were you when you did?

How Do I Live? {Day 10: How}

About 30 years ago (10 years old) I wondered, "how I, a little girl, could live like Yeshua (Jesus)?" I went to Sunday school classes, listened to the sermons from the pulpit, attended VBS, and read my Bible.  One thing was clear, even then, love God and love others.

How do I do that? Well, in 30 years this is what I have learned:

💜 To love Yahweh (God) is to take time to get to know Him.

😇Read the Bible

😇Learn and follow His commandments

😇Pray - be in constant communication with Him.

😇Surrender your life to Him.

😇Choose Him.

😇Confess, repent, be baptized, change your life.

😇Live like His Son, Yeshua (Jesus).
😇Be faithful

💜To live and love like Yeshua and to love Him is to take time to get to know Him.

😇Read the Bible
😇Follow in His footsteps
😇Pray
😇Take time to be alone with Yahwineh
😇Be an example of love and goodness
😇Speak truth
😇Follow the commandments
😇Confess, repent, be baptized in His name
😇Love people
😇Be faithful

💜To love people is to see them through the eyes of Yahweh and...

😇Be genuine

😇Be honest

😇Be compassionate

😇Be patient

😇Be kind

😇Be gentle

😇Be faithful

😇Be helpful

😇Be understanding 

😇Be a light in their darkness

😇Tell them about the love of Yahweh

😇Tell them about Salvation through Yeshua

This is a short list of the things I have learned to help me answer the question my 10 year old self had, "How do I live like Yeshua?"

Your Story Can Inspire {Day 9: Inspire}

In my first blog post of this 31 day series I mentioned that I loved listening to a person tell a story. When we share our stories we can inspire and encourage others.  We can help people understand they are not alone in their struggles.

Throughout the Bible there are inspiring stories. Some help to strengthen our faith, our prayer life, and our hope. Some teach us lessons, some tell us how to live, and some give us a glimpse into the future.

One story I always think about when I feel like I am losing my hope is Hannah's. Day after day she longed for a child. She was made to feel as if she was inferior by Penninah, who "provoked (Hannah) severely to make her miserable, because the LORD had closed her womb." Even still she held on to God. She cried out to Him, "O LORD of hosts, of You will indeed look on  the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not forget Your maidservant,  but will give Your maidservant a Male child, then I will give Him to the LORD all the days of his life, and no razor shall come upon his head."

We know that He heard her and granted her prayer. She kept her vow to God and gave Samuel to Him in service. "For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted my petition which I asked of Him."

This story touches my heart for many reasons. But today I want to share why it inspires me. Hannah, even though loved by her husband, had to share him with Penninah who had children while Hannah couldn't. Penninah made Hannah's life miserable. How many of us have been made miserable by another person's words and actions (maybe not another wife, thank God, but someone)? Many times because of those hurts we lose hope, faith, and at times even stop praying. Hannah held on! She knew, in His perfect timing, she would conceive a child. She believed in the power of prayer! She cried out to Him, spoke to Him from her soul, and didn't care who witnessed her tearful plea. He granted her prayer.

We may need to wait awhile for the "yes," and sometimes we may need to learn the lesson of why the answer is a "no." We just need to hold on. Keep seeking Him out and crying out to Him.

Who will you inspire with your story?

Hannah's Prayer Song

In The Arms Of Comfort {Day 8: Comfort}

Don' you just love those kind of hugs that melt away all the stresses of life? The hugs you fit so comfortably in, like they were made just for you? I do! I am not a huggy person by nature so finding these kind had an awkward beginning for me. Most of the time they made me feel trapped. My entire body would stiffen up and my mind said run! Yahweh God had another plan, He wanted me to feel comfort in hugs instead of panic.

About 22 or 23 years ago He allowed my path to cross with an wonderful godly woman. Every conversation was centered around His love and our need for Him. Our need for His comfort that nothing in this world could compare too. She is a hugger. She would make sure I got a hug everytime I saw her and she knew exactly how hugs made me feel but she wanted to teach me something. The lesson was, there is nothing to fear if given in Light of God's love.

Yahweh is the ultimate comforter. He can bring peace to a heart that is in chaos. He can strengthen the soul that is tired. He can mend the broken hearted. Sometimes He does this by using people who are filled with His love. At just the right moment they come into your life and teach you things like, hugs are good for you and to just relax!

How wonderful it is to have the ultimate comforter by my side! In the midst of life's hardest lessons, I know I will make it through. Not only do I get to dwell in God's presence but He has given me people who help me along life's rocky places and who rejoice with me when it's smooth sailing. 

Will you let Him comfort you today?

Holding On To Hope {Day 7: Hope}

“What strength do I have, that I should hope?

And what is my end, that I should prolong my life?

Job 6:11 (NKJV)

“Have I enough strength to go on waiting?
What end can I expect, that I should be patient?

Job 6:11 (CJB)

Google defines hope as, "a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen." Not long ago I read a book by Dr. Michelle Bengtson called Hope Prevails Insights from a Doctor's Personal Journey Through Depression and also her Bible Study book by the same name and it blessed my heart and helped me through some very hard times. It reminded me of the hope I have in my relationship with God. Hope for His promises to come to pass. Hope for eternal life with Him. 

"And you would be secure, because there is hope; Yes, you would dig around you, and take your rest in safety." 

Job 11:18 (NKJV)

"You will be confident, because there is hope; you will look around you and lie down secure;" 

~Job 11:18 (CJB)

When I read our word prompt for today I immediately thought about Job. I don't know if he would be the one to come to mind for many people when they think of the word hope. Job had everything taken from him, his family, his wealth, his health and yet never sinned. He must have had hope in the promises and character of God even if he didn't understand what was happening or why it was happening.

"Then Job arose, tore his robe, and shaved his head; and he fell to the ground and worshiped. And he said:

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,

And naked shall I return there.

The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away;

Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

 In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong."

~Job 1:20-22 (NKJV)

 "Iyov got up, tore his coat, shaved his head, fell down on the ground and worshipped; he said,

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,

and naked I will return there.

Adonai gave; Adonai took;

blessed be the name of Adonai.”

In all this Iyov neither committed a sin nor put blame on God."

~Job 1:20-22 (CJB)

Prior to the scripture I shared above Job had already been informed that he had lost his livestock, servants, and his son's and daughters. "...he fell to the ground and worshiped." "...Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong." Instead he, he blessed the Name of the Lord." In my hopelessness I cave into myself, I don't bless the LORD, I don't fall down to the ground and worship Him. I sin, by speaking words of death instead of life. I may not blame God but I don't always praise Him in the midst of the storm. Sometimes I let go of hope and crawl into the darkness and wallow in self-pity. Sometimes this is intentional and sometimes it stems from things that aren't always in my control. Either way, I am not like Job and today I long to be. I want to make worship and blessing the LORD's name my priority on the hard days as easily as the good days. 

Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!”

 But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips.

~Job 2:9-10 (NKJV)

 His wife asked him, “Why do you still hold on to your integrity? Curse God, and die!”  But he answered her, “You’re talking like a low-class woman! Are we to receive the good at God’s hands but reject the bad?” In all this Iyov did not say one sinful word.

 ~Job 2:9-10 (CJB)

We have not been promised an easy life filled with endless days of happiness and prosperity. We will endure hardship, we will endure rejection, we will endure sadness, we will endure pain, we will endure sickness, and much more. However, if we hold on to hope we can live in joy, peace, and filled with God's love in the midst of the storms. We can smile genuinely without having to wear a mask. We can share our stories with all honesty and truth even when it is hard so that others will not feel alone and can find that same hope. 

And the Lord restored Job’s losses when he prayed for his friends. Indeed the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before. 

~Job 42:10 (NKJV)

 When Iyov prayed for his friends, Adonai restored his fortunes; Adonai gave Iyov twice as much as he had had before. 

~Job 42:10 (CJB)

Hope in God will allow us to encourage and pray for others who are going through hardships. Hope in the storms of life will bring us closer to God and will keep us from falling into Satan's trap of lies. Today hold on to hope!