Thursday, September 1, 2016

Luna: Second Installment

Thunder in the distance and the dark clouds rolling in the smell of rain surrounds Luna. “Oh, how I love the rain,” she thought to herself. It was time to pack up and head home. She had been lost in her journaling and thoughts for over two hours. I am sure Jon is wondering where she is at. He worries about her not quite sure how to let her go off on her own and not wonder if she will be okay. When they first met in their Philosophy class he never thought they would even date, they seemed to be from two different worlds. Luna didn’t party, didn’t play sports, and didn’t do much of anything it seemed but read and take pictures. She kept to herself but he did notice her smile at him every once in a while and it sure did warm his heart. This girl so unlike every girlfriend he ever had and every girl he ever had a crush on was smiling at him. He wasn’t sure if she would talk to him. He was a bit shy himself but he was determined to get to know her. Her eyes filled with mystery and something else he later learned was sadness.
He wasn’t a writer like Luna. He didn’t daydream with such ease as she did. He was practical and logical about life. He knew what he wanted and how to get it. He missed so much of life’s beauty growing up because he was so focused on getting the best grade and being the best athlete so he could leave that small town he grew up in. The people there were horrid, so full of hate and ignorance. Although, he did make some wonderful friends who he still held in his heart but rarely saw anymore. A few years before he met Luna he lost himself in a world filled with blurred faces and hazy memories. Jon thought he had his whole life planned out just the way it was meant to be but he soon realized he had chosen the wrong path. He longed for love, a real lasting love that would allow him to be the man he knew he was supposed to be. So he took a chance one afternoon after their philosophy class. “Hi, Luna how did you like today’s lesson?” He asked with palms sweaty and a slight shake in his voice. She was stunned. He was talking to her! Her words seemed like they would never come but she was finally able to answer. She smiled and said, “it’s was very interesting. I really enjoy this class. It’s one of my favorites.” “Mine too,” Jon said. Oh, her smile about floored him. It reached all the way to her beautiful brown eyes. His heart melted. This was it, he was just going to go for it and ask her to have lunch with him. “Luna, do you have plans right now?” he asked. “Ummm, no. This is my last class for the day.” She said. “Yes!” he thought to himself. “Would you like to have lunch with me?” he asked her while crossing his fingers behind his back. “Sure,” Luna said. “Oh my goodness! Did he just ask me out on a date!? No, it’s just lunch. He probably wants to study for our test or compare notes, why would he want to date me?” Luna’s thought race through her mind. She was so excited but so scared all at the same time. He was so handsome! She couldn’t help but stare into his sparkling blue eyes. She always wanted to have a different color of eyes. She thought her brown eyes were so plain.
Jon loved reliving that first lunch date they had. He thought he would be so nervous and not able to speak to her. As they walked over to the campus restaurant he asked her the basic get to know you question as a student. “What is your major?” Jon asked her. Luna answered, “English with a minor in Spanish. What is yours?” “Business, but I am really started to hate it. I am thinking about switching it to Sports Medicine.” Jon said. “I would hate business too,” Luna said then thought that sounded a bit rude. “I am sorry, I didn’t mean to put down your major I just dislike math.” she said. Jon liked math, it came to him so easily. “So English, what are your plans after you get your degree? Are you going to teach?” Jon asked her. “Oh goodness no, I would never make a good teacher. I freak out in front of people, even little people.” she told him wondering if she just freaked him out. He smiled at her not believing how she could be scared of speaking in front of people. She seemed so confident. They talked and laughed for hours. After they finished their lunch they walked to the park and say in the grass under the tree. “I never want to this to end,” they both thought. Neither spoke the words out loud but their hearts called to each other. They both felt the connection. Somehow they knew they had found the one, their soul mate, their perfect fit. Jon laughed out loud as he thought about that moment. They were in college and in their early twenties, I don’t think either of them thought it would really work but their hearts had a different idea.

He heard the car pull up and Luna walked in. She looked at him and saw a smile on his face that lit up her heart. She could never resist that smile! She was feeling a little tired having poured out her pain on the pages of her journal. But she also felt a little lighter, a little more centered. She never understood why she thought throwing away her old journals and “packing up her journaling self” was a good idea. I guess we just have to learn from our mistakes and move on. “How was your writing time?” Jon asked.  “Good,” Luna answered. “I got zoned out for a long time,” she said with a laugh. “That’s good, I am glad you are writing again. It seems to help you,” he told her. “It does,” Luna answered. She still hadn’t shared much of what she wrote in her journal with him. She was always afraid he would think she was crazy. “One day,” she thought, “I will let him all the way into my world.” She did feel bad because she felt as if her secrets would someday come between them or make Jon feel as if she didn’t trust him. She trusted him since the day they first had lunch together, she just didn’t trust herself to share her sadness because she wanted everyone to think she was always happy, always ready to take on anything and rise above every challenge. Yes, those were the lies she told herself. The lies that had her so stressed out that her body was not happy with her. She knew she had to make changes. Big changes that she was told started with small steps. But those small steps were the hardest ones to take. She knew she should ask for help; reach out to Jon and maybe a therapist. Imagine that, a therapist, her family and friends would think she was crazy. After all, the sting of the first time she reached out for help and hearing those exact words, “are you crazy,” still held her captive. 

Author's Note: I hope you enjoy this second installment of Luna's story. Come back to find out how she freed herself from the captivity of negative words and learn more about her and Jon's journey together. 

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